I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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