I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
