Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
we're chasing vodka with high fives
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Randomize
