do herpes really smell.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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