my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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