are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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