You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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