Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
