it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he thought i was a dude.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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