...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
