So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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