I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
