i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
