Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
