It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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