Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
