You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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