You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize