and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize