she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The best revenge is premature balding
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
