hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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