thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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