Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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