Swine flu is the new snow day.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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