your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
