wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Randomize
