Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
