Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
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She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
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Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize