Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
