No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
