He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
