I will die if light touches me.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
