I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
how drunk are you?
Several
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize