I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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