haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
