thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
