I hate your face
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
