he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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