you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
