The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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