I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
