I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
