i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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