just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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