idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
