You're so nebulous sometimes
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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