My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
