that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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