Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize