I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
