do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
