I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
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Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
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Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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