Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
