If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
420 ftw
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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