There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
