it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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