in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
