i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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