omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
