He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
