I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wish i was in the wii world.
I understand Curling. That high.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
