I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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