So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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