I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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