Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
