I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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