I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she told me i tasted like america
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
