So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
