I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
the liver wants what the liver wants
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Someone came in the potted fern
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
